Dads: Our Prayers Count Double (Here's Why)

This morning on the way to school, we pulled into the parking lot and began our regular moment of brief prayer for the school day. As we waited in line for the serpentine parade of vehicles to inch closer to the school doors, Simone, my four-year-old daughter, led us aloud. As she prayed, I was struck with a startling epiphany.

She had used almost identically the same words I had the previous morning. 

It wasn't so much the content of the prayer that struck me, it was the imitable style. "Thank you for the cross. Bless mommy at home, daddy at church, and Soriah, Elijah, and me in school." I had said almost the exact same thing 24 hours ago.

When I say that the prayers of fathers "count double," I don't mean that they are twice as powerful. That would be silly. Certainly unbiblical. What I mean is that we are also teaching our children the very language of prayer as we speak. 

The implications for this are huge. I will name just three.

1) First, if we pray God-exalting prayers, our children will learn to exalt Him as well. Lifting up the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus, magnifying the empowering work of the Holy Spirit, and making much of the glory of the Father will provide a model of praise that is not soon forgotten. Imagine what an entire childhood--filled with daddy's gospel-soaked prayers--would do to a child's prayer life over time!

Dads, if we can model a trajectory of prayer that intentionally exalts God as our supreme joy, our children will learn to regard Him so highly as well. Unfortunately...

2) The opposite of that is also true: selfish models of prayer beget selfish people. Let's be careful here. Of course we should teach our children to ask of God His provision for our lives (Matt 6:11, 7:7-11). The Bible commands us to do that.

But if children learn from daddy's prayers that the whole point (the highest end) of intercession is to make requests, our children will begin to subconsciously adopt the "Divine Butler" theology of God. They will see a God that primarily exists, as John Piper has written cuttingly elsewhere, "to fluff the pillows and adjust the thermostat." Studies in religious experience are showing exactly that: moral therapeutic deism (MTD) is the fastest growing "religion" today.

3) Finally, dads in particular have a crucial role in the spiritual development of our children. Some readers may wonder why I chose to focus this brief piece on fathers in particular and not parents in general. Surely it is true that mommy's prayers are also exemplary. I am not denying this. They are. Nevertheless, fathers have been given a primacy in the family that many (most?) in our age have abdicated entirely. Would not our families be stronger if dad resumed his role as spiritual "head"of household instead of the spiritual "tail" dragging reluctantly behind?

I think the implications are clear. If dad prays without any notable unction--or worse, fails to lead his family in prayer at all--his example will leave a gaping hole in the Christian family.

--Matthew Everhard is the Senior Pastor of Faith Evangelical Presbyterian Church in Brooksville, FL.

A Time for Change

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17 (ESV)

An old year has passed away.  A new year, 2013, is upon us.  This is the time of resolutions- with many that go unkept; a time to consider what the future might bring. We may decide to lose weight or to pick up a new hobby.  New Year's Day is often considered a time of change.

Many of us- especially those who tend toward rebellious attitudes (such as me)- reject the idea of making resolutions simply because we change calendars.  In fact, the only resolution I have ever made and kept was the one I made in 1997.  In 1997 I resolved to never make another New Year's resolution.  Ah, success! (I do not suggest this is the way to go, serious resolutions are often beneficial- but take them seriously!)

However, the emphasis on change at this time of the year (years?), leads me to think about a time of true change.  It is the time a person surrenders his or her will to Christ and inherits salvation.

This change is more extreme than a caterpillar metamorphosing into a butterfly (hat tip: Greg Gunn, Pastor, Providence Church, Spring Hill, FL).  A wonderful example of this change is seen in dramatic fashion in Paul, the writer of much of the New Testament.  He said, 

I thank him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because he judged me faithful, appointing me to his service, though formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent. But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. (1 Timothy 1.12-15 ESV)

Christians all have one thing in common: we are not who we once were.  In 1 Corinthians 6.9-11 Paul writes,

Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. (ESV)

Sometimes we may wonder why one Christian may show a dramatic change while another progresses more slowly.  Our dedication can be one major factor- are we studying God's Word faithfully? Are we seeking Him in prayer?  Surely, through God's Word and prayer we learn about Him and get to know His character.  We can be the sheep that know the voice of our Good Shepherd. As we devote ourselves to Him, we grow.  We change.  We are not who we were.  Though we might have been enslaved to sin (see Romans 6), we are now free and made into a new creation.

More important than an old year passing away with a new one rising up is the passing of who we were as we take on the image of Christ in our lives.

---

Pete Garbacki is a minister with Time for Truth Ministries and Mission.Brasil. Follow him on Twitter @mission_brasil or FaceBook at http://www.facebook.com/pete.garbacki.

Pray for Your Pastor (Especially on Mondays!)

As a pastor, I have become especially dependent on the prayers of God's people, especially those within my own congregation. Without the sustaining grace of our Lord, and the intercessory prayers of fellow believers, our pastoral labors would grow heavy indeed.

I am not sure how most pastors feel, but judging from some anecdotal conversations I have shared with other pastors recently, we are especially vulnerable to battles of the soul on Mondays.  (For what it is worth, I also tend to feel acute spiritual warfare on Saturday evenings as well).

There may be a few reasons to increase your prayers for your pastor on this day especially:

1) First, pastors are subject to intense spiritual warfare--regardless of the day--by the very nature of our work. There is nothing the enemy would like more than to discredit the Gospel by discrediting the Church. The easiest way to do that is to cause pastors to fail, quit, grow jaded, or fall lame. Church members need to know that their pastors are liable to the same--if not more intense--battles of spiritual warfare as the common Christian. The fact that we are ordained does not protect us from the trials and tribulations of the heart and soul that our people in the pews face. This can and does include depression, doubt, and anxiety.

2) Nevertheless, Mondays seem to be particularly hard because it is the day of "coming down from the mountain top." After preaching with body, heart, and soul on the Lord's Day, we must come down exhausted to the harsh realities of the "real world." School resumes for children, home repairs can no longer be ignored, cars need oil changes etc. A spouse's health concern is still there. After being in the presence of God so manifestly in sermon and sacrament, the normal grind hits again with a reverberating thud.

3) We are our own worst critics. We usually agonize over our sermons in our heads long after we preached them. Often we are harder on ourselves than even our worst detractors. Jokes that failed, points that were botched, or even a theological doctrine that was stated inarticulately can be deeply vexing. While the Word of God is infallible, the sermon is not. No one knows this better than us. Often our inability to preach better is a emotional frustration.  As one wise minister once said, however, "We surely could have preached better sermons, but we could not have preached a better Gospel!"

4) The criticisms of others ring in our ears. Since Sunday is the day that pastors are in contact with the most parishioners at one time, we tend to hear more criticisms that day also. Most are not meant to hurt us. Some are. While the Holy Spirit (and no little adrenaline!) gets us through the pastor's longest day, Mondays are left to mull over our peoples' concerns. While some critiques are very legitimate, others come across as disparaging. Either way, we tend to feel the soreness of the impact of those comments the next day.

5) The numbers come in. Attendance data and giving trends tend to make their way to our attention early in the week. Some weeks the numbers are an encouragement. As unhealthy as it may be to evaluate ourselves by numbers alone, often the only grades we receive are flat-line statistics. Giving and attendance may not be the best gauges of our church's spiritual health, but they do affect the pastor's heart.

6) Our labors of preparation start all over again. Since most pastors prepare all week long for their sermons, and deliver them on Sundays, the progress begins all over again as soon as the final 'amen' rings from the choir. Unlike other jobs where progress is demarcated by goals achieved and projects completed, the labor of preaching never ends. Sure, some sermons burst into full color like fireworks.  Other sermons fizzle on delivery. Either way, even the best sermons fade as the last echo dies in the sanctuary. On Mondays, we must begin preparations all over again with a blank sheet of paper.

7) The Lord conceals most of our fruit from us. This is for our good, lest we become prideful. I think that if God showed us how our people were growing under our ministries, we would be tempted to think we had done something wonderful. God would be robbed of His glory by human pride. Most often, pastors are not fully cognizant of the results of their labors. A sermon that really 'lands' with full force is not often readily apparent to our awareness. Like the agricultural metaphors of the parables of Scripture, most real spiritual growth is slow, imperceptible to the naked eye. And yet God is good to ensure the harvest!

So please, pray for your pastors. We need you. Especially on Mondays!

Matthew Everhard is the Senior Pastor of Faith Evangelical Presbyterian Church in Brooksville, Florida.

Why Some Prayers are Weak

The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. Elias was a man subject to like passions as we are, and he prayed earnestly that it might not rain: and it rained not on the earth by the space of three years and six months. And he prayed again, and the heaven gave rain, and the earth brought forth her fruit (James 5:16-18. KJV).

We pray in accordance with our doctrine of God. The higher our theology of God, the more devoted to prayer we ought to become. The higher we regard His majesty, the more we are driven to His throne. Unfortunately, the opposite is also true. The higher we esteem ourselves, the less driven we will be to such an 'unproductive' and ethereal act as prayer.

Is it possible that some prayers are hindered by our faulty, sloppy, or lazy theology of God's holy nature?

I think that, more often than not, we pray in accordance with our actual view of God. The kind of 'god' we believe in deep down. Not with the doctrine we SAY we profess. Not with the doctrinal statement that we assent to on paper. Not with the creed or confession to which our denomination subscribes. But we pray in accordance with the doctrine of God that we actually believe.

This doesn't mean that those with a high view of God will always pray 'from strength to strength.' Even the most godly men fail when it comes to prayer! We all do. Even our best prayers need to be washed in the blood of Jesus. But too often, I would suggest, we utter feeble prayers (if we pray at all) when we lose our zeal for the greatness and supremacy of God.

Allow me to illustrate. 

Imagine two sliding controls on a console before you. The first toggle represents our view of God; the second our view of self. The higher the first slide is positioned, the lower the second must necessarily be. If I slide one up, I must slide the other down in a corresponding fashion. I cannot hold both God's sovereignty and my own sufficiency in the same esteem.

If we pray halfheartedly, without fervency, lacking conviction, or not at all, we are simply revealing that our theology is weak no matter how orthodox we claim it to be on paper. We are then revealing that our confidence in self is where our true reliance lies. We pray weakly when we believe in a weak, small, and finite deity.

But if we pray in accordance with our understanding of the true nature of God--His omnipotence (limitless power), omnipresence (ubiquitous presence), and omniscience (all-encompassing knowledge)--we are praying to a God who has inestimable power. We are praying like Elijah. No wonder he prayed fervently. No wonder the Heavens broke open and gave rain!

A Mighty God is worthy and able to handle mighty prayers. 


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Matthew Everhard is the Senior Pastor of Faith Evangelical Presbyterian Church in Brooksville, Florida. Follow on Twitter at @matt_everhard.

An Open Letter to Stay-at-Home Christians

Note: The following fictional open letter is addressed to the growing demographic of self-professing Christians who prefer to worship at home than publicly in a fellowship of other Christian believers at church.

Dear Eugene,

I want to thank you for the kind email that you wrote me recently after we met by God's providence at the Holy Grounds cafe last Thursday. I believe you are right that it was "a divine appointment" that we ran into one another, as it afforded us an opportunity to renew a conversation that we begun months ago.

Although you have chosen to no longer worship with us at First Avenue Reformed Church, I was greatly encouraged to hear that your confidence in the grace of our Lord still remains strong. You described yourself as experiencing a new joy and freedom that you had not known in a long time. For this, I am grateful.

I have to admit that part of me was deeply jealous when you described the relief that you have felt since you walked away from the frictions of the Deacon board! Our work in serving the hurting persons of our congregation is no doubt messy. Sometimes hurting people can be the cruelest of all! Since you left, those tensions have not been fully resolved, and I admit that some of the other men you mentioned are as difficult to get along with as ever. We are such an imperfect lot! In this sense, the church will always be "full of hypocrites" as you alleged.

But are not these very tensions also part of our sanctification? It is true that you were wronged by our brother Carl. I have had to apologize for our many failures as a board and as a church much more often than I would like. It is my experience, however, that those same conflicts are really the necessary and silent hand of our Master Carpenter applying His rasp and sandpaper to our lives in order to refine us.

This prompts me to ask an important question: if you continue to worship alone in your home to avoid these kinds of conflict, would you not also be missing out on the joys of their resolution? In other words, how do you intend to practice forgiveness if you seek to avoid all those whom you may actually have to one day forgive? Is not our own Christian walk made more perfect by those whose walk is not?

Eugene, I too covet those times of personal prayer and devotional worship that you described taking place in the "prayer closet." Jesus commanded as much. You are right to cite Matthew 6:6 in cultivating a "personal relationship" with Jesus. But I don't think we must choose between "personal" and "corporate" as though they were mutually exclusive.

True, those times alone with Christ in the secret place are invaluable. But I have to confess to you that I am doubtful that our Lord meant those should be our only times of worship! Are we not commanded to worship alongside others in Scripture (Hebrews 10:25)? How then shall you fulfill the dozens of "one another" texts in Paul's epistles if not in the context of a local church like those to whom Paul originally wrote? Is not the first word of the Lord's Prayer the plural possessive, "Our"?

You mentioned that the Greek word "church" does not mean a building, nor does worship require any certain number of people in order to be authentic. You even quoted Matthew 18:19 when the Lord exhorted us that "where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am among them." But come now Eugene, surely you don't think that your reluctance to submit to church membership or the body of elders is justified by this text, do you? In context, my brother, this passage is in regard to church discipline; a "severe grace" of God that I am afraid is quite difficult to impose upon oneself!

While we are speaking of the means of grace, how do you intend to practice the Lord's Supper while alone, if at all? Or baptism? Unless you have jettisoned these practices too as "formal," "religious," and "institutional!" Are these not the very signs and seals of God's grace that Christ has given--even commanded--us to perform in his name? Are they not impossible when alone?

Yes, I am sure that the online sermons of Piper and Driscoll that you have grown so fond of are a means of grace as well, so to speak. You were correct when you said they are a blessing to millions. But that's just the problem right there. No matter how wonderful these gifted men of God are (and we thank God for their ministries) they will never know you, nor can you ever be known to them. As gifted as they are, they won't be able to correct you when you go astray or exercise discipline in your life if your doctrine should go amiss.

Perhaps that's what's so alluring.

Your brother in Christ,

George


Matthew Everhard is the Senior Pastor of Faith Evangelical Presbyterian Church in Brooksville, Florida. Please consider following me on Twitter @matt_everhard